Confessions of a guilty writing mum

  • I let my children sit in front of the telly during the holidays for great swathes of time (never did me any harm – in fact it taught me about narrative, character, humour). They concentrate on educational programmes like Horrible Histories (surrealism, history) and Greatest TV blunders (media awareness) and Come Dine with Me (wishful thinking about dinner/cookery skills).
  • I tidy up by shoving everything into cupboards and closing the door very firmly by leaning on it. The estate agent who sold our last house told me a funny anecdote about everything falling out of a cupboard when the prospective buyers were taking a look. I wonder why he chose that story for me?
  • In times of crisis my children look for me, not in the kitchen, but in the study.
  • I’ve forgotton the names of my children (joke!).
  • I do all the housework for the day in one hour, including making the dinner. Before my husband comes home I do a breakneck tidy of the kitchen in 5 mins so that it won’t look so bad when he arrives.
  • My two year old makes his own Weetabix (awwwww).
  • I burn some part of the dinner or lunch on 50% of occasions but I always get my twitter friends to remind me when I’m grilling peppers.
  • My oven hasn’t been cleaned in 3 years.
  • In the holidays we have ‘clothes’ days rather than ‘pajama days’
  • I fool the younger children by giving them the ‘priviledge’ of hoovering or filling the washing machine
  • My children have forgotton my name (I wish).

What are your guilty secrets?

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  1. LOL, I can imagine everything, you painted a great picture. I am so hooked on writing my novels now that I whiz around in the morning with damp cloths (dusty country), and squirt the loo’s with bleach. Then I tidy things away, but my crafty tip is this… I have disinfectant wiped around one window, sweet smelling polish on another and bleach on another, the windows are open and the breeze makes the house smell as if I have been working hard. More writing time, guilt free. 😉

  2. Very funny:) You’re better than I am, I usually don’t tidy up until the weekend, when I clean the house (usually on a Saturday morning) Right now the dishes are lying to one side, I won’t touch them until tonight!

  3. If a man charged with the bulk of child rearing & all shopping & cooking may post a comment, I only ever used to write my fiction when the twins were asleep. But now that I exist online, through Twitter and #fridayflash my postings leak into the day and my boys bemoan that they hardly see me now and that I have become a literature geek (?) Three boys at home together as we now are for theholidays, I do feel sorry for my working wife who has to come home to such a male living space (= UNCLEAN, SLOVENLY, ETC).

    When I was young free and single, I would write for 12 hours straight and really resent having to take breaks to eat. Madness!

    Marc Nash

  4. I can so relate… besides the telly, there’s also the upstairs computer for them. Twitter instead of a kitchen timer? Great idea – thanks! Peace…

  5. You are describing me, I think we are living parallel lives! My 4 yo is twizzing on the spare office chair behind me and the others are sorting the washing for me…if they don’t we will suffocate under the weight of it or be naked or both.

  6. “I do all the housework for the day in one hour, including making the dinner. Before my husband comes home I do a breakneck tidy of the kitchen in 5 mins so that it won’t look so bad when he arrives.” – I laughed when I read this one because I can relate. I’ll look at the clock and realise hubby will be due home soon, so I’d better at least make it look like I’ve done some housework before he gets back. One of my cheats is putting the computer to sleep and grabbing a broom when I see him arrive home so it looks like I’ve been cleaning rather than spending time on the computer.

  7. Reading your list made me feel less guilty because at least I’m not the only one.
    Getting up in the wee hours to gain alone time to write has worked well for me these past 10 months, but recently I started falling asleep in the middle of Bibi’s ‘quality’ one-to-one time. So I’m trying to calm it down a bit, use this summer hol to recharge.

  8. Through the years, I’ve burned quite a few dinners. Now I don’t even cook. My children are grown. But now I feel guilty for not spending enough time with my grandchildren. The circle just keeps going around and around. And the guilt never ends.

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